Shift Into The New Year

While I have always loved ringing in the New Year and looking forward to a fresh perspective, I have also struggled with real downer mind games, self doubt and negative self talk during this powerful time of year. 

“Another year down and you’re still in the same place. Will this finally be the year that you make a million dollars and magically become a size 6? 

What do you want to do with your year? ...crickets. 

What are your goals?...a slew of goals that I haven’t reached thus far automatically repeat...so why this year? 

You can’t have it if you don’t dream it.”

Something clicked for me this last year, though. Something shifted. The year 2020 will forever be a year that I remember and hold close to my heart. Not for all the bad things that happened, but for all the good that came out of it. 

The radical darkness of 2020 needed to happen in order to shift the direction in which the world was going. We were all headed in the wrong direction with the wrong priorities. I believe that 2020 dug up the darkness that we all needed to face in our own unique lives in order to see the light - in order to shine our light and in order to create a better world.

Last year I learned how to turn the volume down on my self doubt and negative self talk. I learned how to just keep walking past those downers. Talk to the hand, my friends, because I’m just gonna keep going. I took the spotlight off of them and started walking with the light.

I started meditating every single day. 

Sitting. 

Breathing. 

Visualizing. 

Being. 

I can’t even begin to tell you all the BIG ways of how my thoughts have changed...shifted. 

I use the word shift because I didn’t set out to become someone totally different - a NEW person. I just wanted to be more ME. Somewhere along the road of life I started collecting negative energy, carrying others’ baggage, and holding onto unnecessary guilt.

Meditation was the path I chose to take to shift all that weight I had collected to a different perspective. 

Of course I haven’t magically turned into Super Buddha Zen Woman, but I have become more ME. I’m doing the work every single day. I’m doing MY work, not someone else’s version. I get to pick and choose which path feels good and which tools I want to carry on my journey.

Some days are still dark, heavy and confusing, but I lean into them with gratitude and grace. I meditate, acknowledge my feelings, and keep walking with the light.